Where have all the binkies gone?

I was cleaning out my kitchen drawers today, and there amongst the rubber bands, dishcloths, glue, tape, bottle brush, birthday candles, and such, I found one bright red "binkie" aka baby pacifier. I know it has lain there, unused, unsucked, for a year or two at least. I kept it there "just in case" it was needed by our youngest grandchild, Sammy, when the family was here for a weekend. I must admit, a tear or two came to my eyes, for Sammy will be starting school this fall, and he is the youngest of our grandchildren. I will never again get to hold a grand-baby, or feed a beloved infant a bottle, or bounce a toddler on my knee. No more need for that pacifier.

But you know, I just could not throw it in the trash. So I put it with my favorite picture of Sammy as a baby, and took these snapshots, as a kind of bittersweet celebration of another milestone passed in his life, and mine. And I wondered what Sammy most seeks now when he needs the comfort the binkie used to give him.

And then I wondered what most comforts me when I am out of sorts these days. What takes the place of a "binkie" for me? for you? I venture to guess that for some men, a cigar does the trick! Maybe candy does it for lots of big and little people. Dark chocolate is certainly a good stand-in for a binkie for me! So is time out alone in nature---walking in the dunes, reading on the beach, watching a sunset. And a cup of really good coffee with a really good friend. Prayer and music are good "binkies" too. I am not sure I will ever outgrow these things, as Sammy outgrew his pacifier. But there are grown-up binkies we grownups should outgrow, don't you think? Like mindless TV watching, trash reading, shopping just to fill time, long gossip-filled conversations that go nowhere, alcohol, drugs, etc. You might add your own list.

Whatever your binkies were, are, or will be....the truth is, we humans do need comfort from time to time, for life can be stressful. As Sammy knows very well, our needs and wants are often not met, even by people who love us. Sometimes we have to settle for a great deal less! After all, what is a binkie compared with a breast? Still, a binkie is pretty harmless, and maybe that is about the best we can do sometimes--chose something for relief and comfort that is pretty harmless.

All the while, it is good to remember that "this too shall pass." Babies grow up, binkies do get thrown out, our needs and desires change, we do leave certain habits behind. And in some cases, it's about time! It is, after all, never too late to grow up!

Yet, yet---- I hope Sammy never loses that wonderful fresh, joyful, little child spirit that shines through in this picture. And I hope I never lose that part of me either. These days as I near the end of my 6th decade, I am deliberately cultivating that little child part of me. But that is the subject for another blog. For today....the little red binkie goes back in the drawer until I can bear to throw it away, or perhaps give it to Sammy's mom to keep with other treasures from his babyhood. And in my heart is a great big smile of gratitude for the joyful memories I can cherish of precious times with grandchildren when they were babies.